Time to Soften ?!?!

I read a post yesterday from the writer Elizabeth Gilbert in response to her attendance at the women’s march on Sunday.

One of the things that she said that really irked me, was that “Men need to SOFTEN”.

I disagree.

I have been a man for nearly six decades and for two of those decades I’ve been doing the inner work of the masculine. Here is what I feel.

The planet will not be saved by soft men
We want strong men who source from their truth and their centres
We do not need more men who source from their shadow

What I saw (from a distance) on Sunday was many women standing for what they believe in, but I also saw many women projecting their inner shadow feminine out into the world as hate and vitriol in response to the shadow masculine that is portrayed by Trump. Our shadow is our unconscious self and the way to heal it is not to project it but integrate it.

Carl Jung said “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” In this Carl Jung is asking us to look into our unconscious otherwise it will be rolled out into the world as our reality, which is exactly what is happening.

The beauty of these marches for me is that it represents the next swell in evolution of consciousness for women. As one placard I saw said, ‘I went to bed a democrat, I woke up an activist’.

Everything must balance however.

As women rise up the call is for men to dive down into the realms of their unconscious and the shadow masculine. Because it is here that the shadow masculine patterns of domination and competition, which have led to crises in our communities and our ecosystems, exist.

This is a journey that we need to take collectively at this time. Where men support the journey of the feminine and women support the journey of the masculine.

This is True Partnership.

As a man, a call for men to soften feels like an ultimatum tantamount to castration. Castration fuels inadequacy and inadequacy fuels rage, we have more than enough of this already in the world.

The Sacred Masculine is both strong and heart-centred. He can recognise his shadow and his truth and has integrated both. He holds a Vision for what is possible not just for himself but for his community and his tribe.

Archetypically the Sacred Masculine is represented by the King who is loving, nurturing, generative and all inclusive. When the true King sits across from the Sacred Feminine, the true Queen, balance reigns and the kingdom thrives and flourishes – for all!

For me this time of transition is an invitation for each of us to support one another in being true Kings and Queens in our lives.


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